The Return of the King

Chapter One---The Finding of the Ring

Deagol-Smeagol! I've got one! I've got a fish, Smeag-, Smeagol!

Smeagol-Pull it in. Go on. Go on. Go on. Pull it in. Deagol! Deagol? Deagol. Give us that, Deagol, my love.

Deagol-Why?

Smeagol-Because, it's my birthday, and I wants it.

<Smeagol and Deagol fight>

Smeagol-My precious! They cursed us. Murderer. 'Murderer' they called us. They cursed us and drove us away. Gollum. Gollum. Gollum. And we wept, precious. We wept to be so alone, and cool, so nice for feet. And we only wish to catch a fish, so juicy sweet. And we forgot the taste of bread, the sound of trees. The softness of the wind, we even forgot, our own name. My precious.

Chapter Two---Journey to the Cross-roads

Gollum-Wake up, wake up, wake up sleepies. We must go, yes, we must go at once.

Sam-Haven't you had any sleep Mr. Frodo? I've gone and had too much. Must be getting late.

Frodo-No. It isn't. It isn't midday yet. The days are growing darker.

Gollum-Come on! Must go! No time!

Sam-Not before Mr. Frodo has had something to eat.

Gollum-No time to lose, silly!

Sam-Here.

Frodo-What about you?

Sam-On, no, I'm not hungry. Leastways not for Lembas bread.

Frodo-Sam.

Sam-All right, we don't have that much left. We have to be careful, or we're going to fun out. You go ahead and eat that Mr. Frodo. I've rationed it. There should be enough.

Frodo-For what?

Sam-The journey home.

Gollum-Come, Hobbitses. Very close now. Very close to Mordor. No safe places here. Hurry.

Chapter Three---The Road to Isengard

Pippin-I feel, like I'm back at the Green Dragon after a hard day's work.

Merry-Only, you've never done a hard day's work. Welcome my lords, to Isengard!

Gimli-You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you, feasting a-a-and smoking!

Pippin-We are sitting, on a field of victory, enjoying a few well earned comforts. The salted pork, is particularly good.

Gimli-Salted pork?

Gandalf-Hobbits.

Merry-We're under orders from Treebeard, who's taken over management of Isengard.

Treebeard-Young Master Gandalf. I'm glad you've come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master, but there is a wizard to manage here, locked in his tower.

Gandalf-And there Saruman must remain, under your guard Treebeard.

Gimli-Well, let's just have his head and be done with it.

Gandalf-No! He has no power anymore.

Treebeard-The filth of Saruman, is washing away, trees will come back to live here. Young trees, wild trees.

Aragorn-Pippin!

Treebeard-Bless my bark!

Gandalf-Peregrin Took. I'll take that my lad. Quickly, now.

Chapter Four---Return to Edoras

King Theoden-Tonight, we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead.

Crowd-Hail!

Eowyn-(speaking in elvish)

King Theoden-I am happy for you. He is an honorable man.

Eowyn-You are both honorable men.

King Theoden-It was not Theoden of Rohan who led out people to victory. Ah, don't listen to me. You are young, and tonight is for you.

Merry and Pippin-(singing) Oh, you can search far and wide, you can drink the whole town dry, but you'll never find a beer so brown, but you'll never find a beer so brown, as the one we drink in our hometown, as the one we drink in our hometown. You can drink your fancy ales, you can drink them by the flagon, but the only brew for the brave and true, comes from the Green Dragon. (applause)

Merry-Thank you, I win.

Aragorn-No news of Frodo?

Gandalf-No word, nothing.

Aragorn-We have time, everyday Frodo moves closer to Mordor.

Gandalf-Do we know that?

Aragorn-What does your heart tell you?

Gandalf-That Frodo is alive. Yes, yes he's alive.

Chapter Five---Gollum's Villainy

Gollum-(talking in sleep)Too risky. Too risky. Thieves. They stole it from us. Kill them. Kill them. Kill them both.

Smeagol-(waking up) NO!

Gollum-Shhhh! Quiet! Mustn't wake them. Mustn't ruin it now.

Smeagol-But they knows, they knows. They suspects us.

Gollum-What's it saying, my precious, my love? Is Smeagol, losing his nerve?

Smeagol-No. Not. Never. Smeagol hates nasty Hobbitses. Smeagol wants to see them, dead.

Gollum-And we will. Smeagol did it once. He can do it again. (flashback)It's ours! Ours!

Smeagol-We must get the precious. We must get it back.

Gollum-Patience! Patience, my love. First we must lead them to her.

Smeagol-We lead them to the Winding Stair.

Gollum-Yes, the stairs and then?

Smeagol-up, up, up, up, up the stairs we go, until we come to the tunnel.

Gollum-And when they go in, there's no coming out. She's always hungry. She always needs to feed. She must eat. All she gets are filthy orcses.

Smeagol-And they doesn't taste very nice, does they, precious?

Gollum-No. Not very nice at all. My love. She hungers for sweeter meats. Hobbit meat. And when she throws away the bones and empty clothes, then we will find it.

Smeagol-And take it for me!

Gollum-For us.

Smeagol-Yes. we meant 'for us'.

Gollum-Gollum. Gollum. The precious will be ours, once the Hobbitses are dead!

Sam-You treacherous little toad!

Smeagol-No! No! Master!

Frodo-No, Sam! Leave him alone!

Sam-I heard it from his own mouth. He means to murder us.

Smeagol-Never! Smeagol wouldn't hurt a fly. He's a horrid, fat hobbit, who hates Smeagol, and who makes up nasty lies.

Sam-You miserable little maggot! I'll stove your head in.

Frodo-Sam!

Sam-call me a liar? You're a liar!

Frodo-You scare him off, we're lost!

Sam-I don't care! I can't do it, Mr. Frodo. I won't wait around for him to kill us!

Frodo-I'm not sending him away.

Sam-You don't see it, do you? He's a villain.

Frodo-We can't do this by ourselves, Sam. Not without a guide. I need you on my side.

Sam-I'm on your side, Mr. Frodo.

Frodo-I know, Sam. I know. Trust me. Come, Smeagol.